Thoughts on One Year of Breastfeeding

I want to write a few things that I’ve learned from this year-long journey of nursing Isaac, so that next time I can look back on it and maybe not have as much of a mental freak-out. I do think since Isaac has always been a big baby I do think it was a struggle for my body to keep up with his demand of feeding (but by the grace of God I produced enough), so I can’t necessarily say he’s a normal baby in regards to how frequently he nursed. Also, my personality tends to be type-A which likes to have things planned, organized, and controlled which does not mix super well with breastfeeding.

**Disclaimer: I feel like the below post is very negative. I’m very thankful for the opportunity to feed my child in this way but also want to give a realistic view of our journey.

Patience, patience, patience:

• the latch on takes practice, and in the beginning it might take a good 15-20 minutes just to get the right latch, but there’s no need to worry just be patient. He will get it eventually and even after a few weeks you both get better at it, and slowly it takes less and less time to latch on. Eventually, he’ll be able to do it without any help. The birth center helped with this because they were just so chill about everything and didn’t try to give me a shortcut like a nipple shield just so I would have success. I feel like this can relate to our generation well because we are used to getting things quite promptly and aren’t used to having to wait, but sometimes things take time and practice and practice and that’s completely okay. Plus for two days they were there to help every time I fed him. Thankful for the opportunity to birth there.
• patience to sit on the couch most of the day feeding this baby. Especially the first five weeks from 4 to 9:30pm cluster feeding.

Each baby is different:

• From the start Isaac has been so much more patient than Graham which helped a lot.

There are different phases in this endeavor:

1. First two weeks: All I did was eat, co-sleep, BF to make sure my supply was well established. They said the first two weeks are critical for establishing and continuing your supply. Longest two weeks, but I’m thankful I did it and had my mom to help with Graham during the day.
2. First five weeks: cluster feeding! In the beginning, I used an app which timed and kept track of feedings for me and we would get in 13 to 21 feedings a day, but after five weeks it dropped down to the high normal range 12 to 13 times. If you can’t tell I fed on demand and it wasn’t really until after four or five months that I tried to schedule it a bit more. The lack of scheduling drove me nuts, but in the beginning I think he was a happier baby because  I didn’t try to schedule it.
3. month 1 to 5: frequent nursing. I feel like our days worked in about 1 to 1 1/2 hour segments sometimes less between feedings.
4. 5 months to 9 months: seriously five months hit and nursing became so much more manageable due to the decrease of feedings with the addition of solids. Around this time I got really tired of nursing but we had made it through the hardest part so there was no good reason to quit now.
5. 10 to done. Weaning has been a lot harder on my body than it has been on Isaac.

Things That Surprised Me:

1. You will be hungry all the time
2. It will seem like it literally drains the energy out of you
3. There’s nothing fast about weaning. And I didn’t expect my body to have such a hard time adjusting to dropping feedings.
4. How much more attached Isaac is to me than Graham ever has been. It might be the dynamic of our family right now because with two kids it’s very easy to divide and conquer, but I do feel that because of BF I do have a special closeness to him which has been sweet.
5. How quickly the weight dropped off (plus some) due to breastfeeding.
6. I got used to wearing BF friendly clothing, but overall there wasn’t a ton of my regular clothes that I couldn’t wear. Certain items just take more practice getting used to wearing and having to BF in.
7. How nice it is not to worry about being out and about for a long time and not have enough bottles/formula. It made packing for trips a lot simpler.

Tips:

1. Drink water: I at least noticed if I wasn’t good about drinking water that day then it did affect my supply (Isaac would have a hard time going to bed, be frustrated with nursing, or fussy)
2. Invest in quality aids like nursing bras, a nursing PJ, nipple pads etc. I bought all of these before hand and not only was it good motivation to keep nursing because I had invested money in it already but it cut down on the frustrations like having good nipple pads rather than cheap ones that drove me nuts. I also spent full money on an electric pump.
3. Get as much nursing technique help as you can even if that means calling a lactation consultant.

I feel like now that I’ve had a baby who I tried to nurse but then switched to formula, and an exclusively breastfed baby that I have a really good perspective on the two ways of feeding your baby and can relate to both sides of the story.  Breastfeeding is definitely harder than the other, but if it’s not for you and you gave it your best effort then that’s perfectly fine. Graham had formula and is doing great! There’s a lot worse things you could be giving your baby and you know it’s only about one year out of their life. 🙂

 

 

 

Meals for a New Mom…

when we had Isaac our church provided two to three meals a week for the first four weeks. Next to the help from my mom and Jacob meals were the biggest blessing. It was so nice not to have to think about dinner especially since the first five weeks of Isaac’s life he cluster fed in the evening which left Jacob doing much of the dinner prep. Thankfully there wasn’t a meal that was brought to us that we didn’t like; however, there was things that we liked better than others about certain meals (not just the taste)

Below is some tips for when bringing a new mom a meal. These are not meant to be a criticism, but rather a reminder for myself when bringing someone a new in the future.

1. Bring food in disposable containers. This one seems obvious.
2. Main dish they can bake. We liked the dishes that we could just pre-heat the oven and throw it in for the allotted time rather than having to make something.
3. Snack foods. Someone brought us scones and they were perfect for the next day snack…not to sweet, but a bit more substantial. Especially since I was breastfeeding it was nice to have something to snack on.
4. Salad. We received a salad with almost every meal, but each salad was never the same. I liked the salads because it made our meals feel balanced.
5. You don’t have to make the meal. We had one person pick us up a rotisserie chicken and three or four salads from the grocery store deli and it was super yummy…we liked the variety.
6. If you’re going to bring the supplies for the meal then bring it two to three weeks postpartum. We had a few people bring us like the supplies to make Spaghetti. These type of meals are good a few weeks in because it takes a bit more work/keeping an eye on which is fine a few weeks in.
7. Go the extra mile. Rather than just bringing a carton of fruit, go the extra mile and wash and cut it etc. so it’s ready to go.
8. Bring them something you know they won’t have time to make for a while. We had someone make us homemade bread which was such a treat because I never make homemade bread let alone don’t have time after a baby.
9. Make enough for two meals. It was nice when there was enough leftover food for the next day’s lunch or dinner.
10. Text when you’ll be dropping off the meal. At least in my life texting is the best rather than calling because then I can respond when it’s convenient for me.
11. Freezer meals are great. We had a few people make us a freezer meal which was nice because then we didn’t have to use it right away if we didn’t want to. Even a bag of frozen rolls was helpful.

The meals were such a blessing and a real example of the church community ministering to us in a practical way.

Adjusting to Two Under Two

I meant to do a post about our adjustment to life with two boys under two about a month ago, but I’m barely on my computer anymore, so here are my thoug hts on our adjustment.

I honestly just hate the first two weeks postpartum. Thankfully it is a bit of a blur. and seems like a long time ago now. The first two weeks my mom was here every day while Jake was at work. She has been such a blessing to us. It was nice for Graham to have someone to entertain him while I focused on Isaac and getting breastfeeding down. The third week my mom came for half the day; we weaned ourselves off her. 🙂

A lot of people asked me about Graham’s adjustment. It was rough the first few weeks because I was so busy with nursing Isaac and couldn’t physically pick him up, There was a lot of crying for momma and tears on my end that I couldn’t do what I used to for him like put him to bed. The first few weeks Graham also would wake up in the middle of the night crying for momma. Jake really stepped up and took to caring for Graham when he was home and they have really bonded which is so sweet to see. Once I could physically do things for Graham it got better and he has adjusted to having Jake do more things for him. Graham has never really had any anger towards Isaac and seems to really love his little brother. He likes to give him kisses and play on his play mat with him. Some days are better than others, and I’m thankful we live in a small place because it’s easier to keep track of him. Reading books, coloring, and play dough are a few things that he likes to do while Isaac is feeding. It’s generally easier to have something specific for him to do while I nurse Isaac rather than just letting him roam free.

Another question I have had asked is how breastfeeding is going. So far it’s going well. The first four weeks I felt like all I did was nurse Isaac (he would cluster feed in the evening), but things seem to be settling to more of a routine. Once I got past the initial learning curve of breastfeeding, the hardest parts have been entertaining Graham during the day while I feel like I’m on the couch nursing most of the day (it felt like especially in the beginning), not being able to help as much in the evening with things like dinner clean up and Graham bedtime because I’m nursing Isaac, and making sure that I’m eating and drinking enough to keep up my supply. Jake has done such a good job of just doing what needs to be done for dinner etc. (side note: we had meals a few times a week provided by church families for the first four weeks which was the second biggest blessing (my mother has been the first)). I really think my success in breastfeeding this time around is due to the help I got in the beginning from the birth center. Also, Isaac is a different baby than Graham; I think he’s more patient.

Having a baby in the spring rather than fall has been better because we can get outside almost every day…the fresh air helps us all.

 

The 2nd time around…

I feel like I just did this whole pregnancy thing (oh wait I did!), but it’s worth it for the end result. I’m seriously not one of those lady’s that just loves being pregnant. At least with Graham I had a pretty easy pregnancy and this one seems to be the same. I can’t really complain, and as I said above, the end result is worth it.

It may be a busy time of life having two under two, but I think it will be fun having them close in age, especially as they get older. Whenever I get overwhelmed I just think back to my mother who had a two year old, and preemie twins in California far from her family…my life is much easier. 🙂

What I’m looking forward to…

• the 2nd trimester
• not being exhausted (i.e. 2nd trimester)
• having a baby in the spring. I think that will be better because then we’ll go right into summer which is better than a depressing winter. I’m one of those people that need my vitamin D.
• being more comfortable (than last time) with the care of a baby
• putting my glorious amount of stretch marks from Graham to good use.
• Giving birth at a birthing center (see below for more thoughts on that)
• Not having to buy a ton of stuff for the new baby. We already have everything we need. Prepping for the baby is going to be so easy.
• Having only one care provider rather than three with Graham due to our moves.

What I’m not looking forward to…

• sleepless nights/sheer exhaustion in the beginning
• trying to nurse again. Honestly, this is my biggest fear that it won’t work out again. At least this time I know it’s going to be SUPER hard and as long as he/she isn’t losing weight I’m sticking with it this time around. I have ideas of how I can be more proactive this time in hopefully increasing my milk supply.
• Deciding on a name especially if it’s a boy. There are just no boy names I like right now.

What’s new this pregnancy…

• The biggest change is that I’m going to be working with a midwife at a birthing center nearby. I had a natural birth with Graham, and if possible I would like to do the same with this one. I had a wonderful experience at the hospital with Graham, but like the fact that the midwives are there to help you have a natural birth. I don’t have to worry about being pressured to get an epidural etc. It’s a nice home like setting except they have awesome tubs. The stay is shorter at the birthing center as well which with Graham we requested an early discharge. I also like that it’s smaller so they know their client base better and actually had read all of my health history before my first appointment. We’ll see how things go as this pregnancy progresses, but it should be interesting this 2nd time around.
• I feel like I’ve been more sick this pregnancy than the last, but thankfully I don’t remember a ton from the first trimester with Graham.
• They had no problem hearing the heartbeat at my appointment. Does that sound ever get old? It’s music to a mama’s ears.
• The due date is March 12, 2015

So that’s my first pregnancy update for Aase baby #2. I’ll do sporatic pregnancy updates once in awhile.

What I’m Learning {number 5}

# 5: That dads are better at some things when it comes to baby care. For example, Jacob is better at trimming Graham’s finger and toe nails than me. He can even do it while graham is awake; where as, I have to wait till he’s asleep and trimming still takes me awhile. Jacob is also better at cleaning a poopie diaper with less wipes than me. Sometimes you just need the dad to do it. I’m thankful we’re in this parenting thing together.

 

What I’ve Learned {number 4}…

Once in a while I’m going to write a short post about something I’ve learned on this adventure called motherhood.

#4: When shopping I’ve noticed people gazing longer at me, but really they’re not looking at me at all (which is good). Rather, they are staring longer to see the baby in the cart. It took a bit to get used to, but I’m finding that baby’s are good conversation starters.

Starting Solids…

At Graham’s four-month well-baby check-up his pediatrician said to start him on solids to hopefully help with his “happy reflux” issues (he spits up all day long, but not at night). Even though, the spitting up doesn’t seem to bother him, it’s still not good for him. I was really hoping to wait till 6 months to start solids (I didn’t want to deal with the hassle), so we’ll probably just do rice cereal for now then start on other foods at 6 months. I bought some brown rice and ground it up to powder then cooked and froze it, so when he’s ready to eat I mix the rice with a bit of formula. It’s pretty simple and he doesn’t seem to mind the taste. I may try oatmeal once I’m out of rice just because I think it would grind to powder form easier.

I haven’t really been able to get many good pictures of his solids eating experience, but below are his first few days of eating. His high-chair (thanks to Jacob’s sisters!) has worked well; it’s nice that the chair can recline a bit.

Happy before getting food.

It’s a struggle not to play with our bib. I have to hold his hands down while eating.

It’s serious business eating. He’s doing better than I expected when it comes to eating the food, and some days he does better than others. He doesn’t have a very long attention span for eating yet. So far, I haven’t seen a big difference in his spitting up, since he isn’t getting a lot of cereal yet.

I’m not using the main tray so the one pictured is a little one that the big tray hooks too. The little tray works well to hold the bowl since he’s not eating off the tray.

What I’m Learning {Number 3}

Once in a while I’m going to write a short post about something I’ve learned on this adventure called motherhood.

#3 There is always a new challenge or goal to achieve. The current challenge is swaddle weaning, but I’m learning that just as we work through something there will be something new to work on. Right now, these challenges are pretty straightforward and generally easily attainable like learning to take naps in the crib, sleeping unswaddled, stretching out feedings from 3 hours to 4 hour stretches, etc. but as Graham grows there will be bigger challenges to work on (more heart issues) that won’t be quite so easily attainable. I’m learning to take these challenges one at a time and appreciate the fact that they are easily attainable (i.e. don’t stress out about something simple).

Favorite Baby Items: Month 1-3

Since we are living in tight quarters we didn’t buy a ton of baby items — just the essentials. That being said, I still have my favorite items that I think were a worthwhile purchase. Honestly, I don’t think I would change any of the items we bought.

1. Diaper Bag.

I ordered it off etsy and my only complaint is that i should have ordered the next size up because it’s always full (I didn’t realize everything you needed to bring for a baby just to go out). I love all the pockets and the bag quality.

2. Infantino Twist and Fold Play Mat (a gift). 

This wasn’t something I was going to spend the money on, but was given to us as a gift. It has been the best gift…Graham loves it. He will lay under it for a long time just batting at the toys, squirming, and screeching in excitement.

3. Stroller (Baby Jogger City Mini four-wheel). 

I originally wanted the three wheel one because I was afraid the four-wheel wouldn’t maneuver as well, but I was wrong. I’m looking forward to using the stroller more once the weather warms up. I like the stroller because it is a super smooth ride, turns on a dime, folds easily, and the front wheels lock or swivel.

4. White cloth diapers for burp clothes. I bought a big pack of these because they were a cheap price They’re absorbent and work better than regular burp clothes. We use them all the time.

5. Summer Infant Swaddleme Wraps. I like these better than the sleep sack brand because I can get them tighter (he’s a pro at getting unswaddled) and he doesn’t get hot in them like he did with the others. I bought these when he was a month old and he slept so much better for naps and at night once I started using these.

6. Kushies Deluxe Flannel Changing Mat I ordered two, one for home (once he grew out of the pack n play changing station) and one for the diaper bag. I like that they are large but fold up small.

Honorable Mention: Moby Wrap. I haven’t used this a ton, but the few times I have I really like it and Graham has liked it too. I know I will use it more in the future when we have more kids because I’ll need to have my hands free.

What I’ve learned…

Once in a while I’m going to write a short post about something I’ve learned on this adventure called motherhood.

What I’ve learned # 1: Preparation. I’ve learned to prepare for things in advance rather than waiting till I need it. For example, I’ve learned to pack the diaper bag the night before on Saturday night so Sunday morning it’s one less thing I need to do to get ready for church. I figure it’s just going to get harder to get out the door on time when we have more kids so why not practice now when it’s relatively easy.

What I’ve learned #2: Flexibility. This has been more of a mindset change. I’ve also been a planner and list maker; I love to schedule out my day and check things off. However, with a baby I still write my to-do-lists, but have come to realize that I will probably get interrupted when I’m in the middle of something because the baby will need my attention. So my list is more of a reminder of what I can do when I have some free time. This has been a hard thing to get used to because once I start something I like to finish it in a timely fashion.

These are just a few things I’ve learned so far.